Measuring a full 6ft x 3ft, it’s big enough to wrap your whole sun-fearing body like the delicate gothic burrito you are. Ultra-soft for maximum comfort while you lay there wondering how long it takes to get melanoma. And with a beautifully sadistic baroque design and upside-down cross, it’s your subtle way of saying: “I'm not supposed to be out here."

Features include:

• Giant 6ft x 3ft surface area for full body coverage

• Super soft cotton

• Gothic detail so extra it makes the sand uncomfortable